My menstrual cup misadventure

My menstrual cup has been missing for weeks. I thought it fell out of my bag at Terry’s place…

But no!

It fell out of my bag at my student’s place!

My eight years old pre-puberty student who definitely has no idea what it is. Her helper told me that she and her five year old brother have been playing with my menstrual cup.

They thought it was a toy!

The helper also have no idea what it is… but Madam knows.

*Awkward*

Anyway, it was given back to me wrapped in a tissue like a dead hamster.

And my student won’t stop asking me about it. I told her, “it’s for grown woman”.

“Is it for the boobs?”

“Is it for the armpit?”

In my mind I was like, “omg baby, trust me, you don’t want to know”.

This is really the most traumatic experience ever in my 16 years of menstruating career. It’s worse than when it leaked onto my school skirt cos back then I had my PE shorts , and the episode was over as soon as I changed out.

This episode stays with me. I’ll always wonder just how did the kids play with it.

I contemplated throwing it away and getting a new one. But that’ll defeat my purpose of switching to the cup in the first place. It’s supposed to be eco-friendly and not disposable!

Guess this memento of my great misadventure will stay with me… forever.

It’s not just with me, it’s literally in me.

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The silicon ‘dead hamster’.
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My complexion

Has come a long way…

2010 to 2017… With all sorts of medication, 3 facial packages, shit loads of products (some completely useless), tubes and tubs of concealers, and heaps of clay powder in between.

OR, front cameras now are built to deceive?

Quick update

There’s a lot going on lately! You already know about mother’s day, so let’s not talk about that.

May has been so busy! I wrote an experimental research proposal and film a video news report for the first time, both are school End of Course Assignment(s). Then straight after it’s exams. I have two papers, did one today, one more to go tomorrow.

But I’m already losing steam and starting to mentally unwind!

Partially because I just (a few days ago) received the birthday present I bought for myself! My birthday was on mother’s day, awks.

Anyway, it’s a manual juicer! I.e. a hand crank slow juicer at a fraction of the price of normal slow juicers from electronics shops. I am not sure what happened in the last twenty-six years of my life, I never knew such a thing exist!? It’s fantastic, makes juice with minimal pulp, environmentally friendly and extremely quiet to operate.

*Squeals*

I’ve been juicing for the last two days and this is my current favorite recipe:

Unnamed green juice that’s mostly sour, but also sweet and very thirst quenching

  • 1 green apple
  • 1 orange
  • half a cucumber (of course this depends on how big is your cucumber, my halves are around 10 cm long)

Makes around 350 ml, depends on how juicy your fruits are.

 

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Tastes better than it looks. Can someone name my juice recipe, please? I’m very uncreative now.
Manual juicer ezbuy
The awesome (and cheap!) machine from Taobao, less than $30 SGD with shipping.
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My birthday cake with heart shape strawberries and hidden blueberries, no-baked by my boyfriend <3.

Shall blog more on my birthday and turning 27 another day. Now I gotta get back to studying for tomorrow’s Managerial Economics paper.

Don’t forget to have a life

When it comes to managing your money, regardless of how much you earn, there is nothing more important than the 50/30/20 rule. I wish I came across this in my younger years, but I didn’t see this until after I was married with two kids. The 50/30/20 rule all began with the amazing Elizabeth […]

via The 50-30-20 Rule — Joker to King

I’ve always haphazardly stash aside some money for unexpected lifestyle expenses, such as having an urge to buy new clothes, adopting a pet, and attending a wedding dinner etc. Since I don’t work full-time anymore, I often find myself really broke after I pay a bill etc. and I’ve been digging into my ‘lifestyle budget’ for essentials. So having hard figures helps, hope sticking to it wouldn’t be too difficult!

 

What did it mean when she closed her eyes?

I adopted two fancy mice last week! I call them the Mousey-Sisters. I’m hoping to tame them into enjoying human affection, but I know that’s not always possible.

I was updating my boyfriend about my mice-taming progress. It has been pretty nice, and one of them kinda closed her eyes somewhat blissfully when I stroke her behind the ears. I think she’s learning to enjoy human touch!

In response, my boyfriend said…

“Maybe she was really scared? When she closed her eyes her whole life flashed by.”

I appreciate his humor but seriously, thanks-but-no-thanks for bursting my bubble.

Oh well, who knows? Only time will tell.

 

Poker in the bottle
Mouse in question: Poker

 

My very first sticky bra experience

I was wearing this camisole with a really unique neckline that would expose even my tiniest strapless bra. My options were to go commando or wear a sticky bra. Sticky bra seriously does not work for me, once I step out of the house, it was threatening to fall off. Once I reached the ground floor, I could feel gushes of wind threading through gaps that were not supposed to be there!

I could have turned back and change out of this horror waiting to happen, but then I thought I should just pull through it. I’m already 26. It is actually kind of late to be wearing a sticky bra for the first time, right?

In the time of extreme insecurity like these, I always text my best friend because she tends to patronize me and I like being patronized.

“Make sure it doesn’t drop on the floor like a chicken fillet!”

chicken-boneless-breast-1

What a very graphic, but also golden, advice. I spent the next three hours pressing down the sticky bra as discreetly as I know how. With my wrist, with my thumb (while pretending to scratch my ribs), with my phone… I’m sure I tried every possible way to do it.

Interesting fact: three hours is a very long time.

Especially when you’re wearing a sticky bra that’s not sticky enough, or when you have blisters from breaking in a new pair of shoes. You know, the kind of shit situation that is not bad enough to make you act immediately, so you end up living in semi-misery for a long time.

Anyway, moral of this story is that I had my first and last sticky bra experience. Because nipple sticks are also not my friend, I’m gonna have to find out if sporting nipple-shadows is considered indecent exposure in Singapore.

Till then, I’ll steer clear from unreasonable clothes and resign to the fact that I’ll never be a fashionista.

Fake sheet masks

Now that I have a lot more time on hand, I’ve started using hydrating sheet masks again. I like those from Innisfree; they are selling at $2 each.

I was very motivated to get on with ‘masking’ by an article on hello giggles. On top of that, my skin is exceptionally dehydrated (although oily) from my coffee addiction and overuse of anti-acne products throughout my teenage years. So I dug out all my left over sheet masks from my 2014 trip to Korea’s airport (it was on the way to Beijing) and bought five more from Innisfree. I used one every night for five days straight, took two days break over the weekend and resumed with using one on alternate nights.

My skin was really hydrated and much clearer, even my facialist noticed!

I found the same Innisfree sheet mask I was using on Lazada (an online marketplace) at $15 for 10 pieces. I was so pleased! Until a while ago… when I realize that those 10 pieces I bought online are counterfeits.

Good job for not taking out the garbage for over two weeks! If I learned anything from watching Dr. House, it’s that garbage provides useful insights.

I was wearing the fake sheet masks and feeling all sorts of anxiety when I first started writing this post. I was almost expecting to feel my skin bumpy and tight as I splashed off the excessive goo.

But no. My skin feels really really nice, if not better. And it looks good, no redness and somewhat refined. The mask also did fit better than the original Innisfree mask.

Oh, dilemma. What if the fake sheet masks are better? Even if I head back to Lazada for my next stock-up, there’s no way I can be sure to get the same fake, I mean pirated, sheet masks.

This is such a strange situation to be in.

I’ll definitely head to an Innisfree store for the real stuff if I wake up to screwed skin tomorrow. Then there will be no dilemma. But of course, I do not want that to happen!

Fingers crossed, please let me wake up with baby skin.

innisfree bija mask

Update: I did wake up with almost-baby skin! Even my grand mother’s Pinoy helper was impressed.

 

The butthole tickler and other stories

I’d like to think of myself as a refined person who does not laugh at fart jokes.

But i guess i am not as refined as i’d like to be. Other than fart jokes, i also laugh at the mere mention of things to do with butt, shit and stuff. I just came across a piece of news on facebook that says:

Man Arrested For Breaking Into Homes And Tickling People’s Buttholes

Knowing it’s fake does not make it any less funny. Hahhahah.

I think i shouldn’t conceal the fact that i did not immediately know it’s fake… I had to ask google. Google showed something even more ridiculous.

The Texas Butthole Tickling Bandit Has Finally Been Caught, And Bums Unclench

So graphic. I can picture middle aged white man sleeping with bums clenched finally relax their glutes. Eww. But hahahahaha.

Okay, now that i have a head full of butthole related thoughts. Let me share with you a somewhat relevant story.

Back when i was selling insurance, i told my prospective clients that buying insurance is like making sure there’s toilet paper before taking a shit. Not everyone appreciate my toilet reference, but it works most of the time to get my point across.

I didn’t know how meaningful my toilet paper pitch was until recently when a friend told me that he realize there was no toilet paper after taking a shit.

Of course i’m very amused by his misfortune but he was surprisingly cool about it. He said first aid training prepped him well.

“Look. Listen. Feel.”

  • Open the cubicle door slightly and see if there’s anyone out there.
  • Listen for footsteps.
  • Trust your instinct.

“When the coast is clear, make a run to the nearest empty cubicle.”

“Leave pants half-way down!”

So you won’t have to worry about shit stain for the rest of the day… he made a good i think.

100% true story. Hope you learnt something from reading my blog today!

Back to ridiculous fake news headlines. Kudos to the writers behind them, where did so much ridiculous creativity come from? I wonder what’s their job title. Must be fun…

Pro armpit hair braider embazzeled 83 customer’s pubes for her collection

Am i any good at it?